If you are new to the blog maybe you haven't read about the previous posts where i visualise where i am going to be in Spring. Take a look through because it's important as to know what to say to me or to anyone else in this situation.
An old friend calls up and says he's sorry. I know he's trying to sympathise but it's not what i need. I don't need sympathy, there are hospital wards and pubs full of people who want that. You are not to blame and the process of blame is a distraction - a waste of energy - on what is the most important, getting back to the quality of life i will achieve.
I don't know about the treatment yet to happen, but when someone tells me their pal got really sick then its time to hit the DELETE button. I'm not your pal, I'm not any ones statistic and i know that the chemo will fry the tumor, so I'm focused on the image of being fit and strong so that i can cope with it. I see my liver being healthy.
Two phone calls, one where Bob tells me to see myself daily as the person in full health. Another where someone feels it difficult to know what to say but sorry. I appreciate both calls but the first one does me good, the second i DELETE. So if you know someone with an issue, keep their mind in the frame where they see themselves as strong. Ring again mate, be at ease!
Words are a weapon that can construct and destruct.
Its been a boring day in that i can not move around a lot - staples come out tomorrow - and i am trying not to be too doped up. Its cold outside and reading is difficult with the morphine in me. So with all the things i want to do, little is done. I'm going to spend a little while thinking of the time when i did something great and then I'm going to see myself today as that person. Not as a sick grumpy auld bugger!
Remember i said my ankles were bloated, they aren't anymore! I can see the shin bone sharp again. I'm visualising when i was at Camp 3 years or so ago in LA with Tim Harding holding the focus mitts, and i had a ripped groin still repairing, but i smashed those pads in front of Guros video camera that Tim said it was the first time in years he'd been lifted off his feet by the power.
Thats where i see myself and to that state i will return. How do you see yourself?
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Get in there pat! i am totally impressed with your attitude, I believe you man, really excellent. I see training Jun Fan, Kali, CSW, Thai under your excellent instruction, with the passion, humour and ever so helpful teaching analogies we have came to know and love so well, but now from a man who knows how to fight the fight of his life and succeed. We all gonna benefit from that big time. One thing that cracked me up at the weapons training one time was when you were showing us how to do sombrada drill with the staffs. I mind having a internal laughter fit which I only just managed to contain, you know, when it's something quite serious, but you just want to laugh your tits off. I don't quite know why I found that so amusing to this day when you and James were going through it, or even why I mention it particularly. :) One other thing you said in another thread there about for every single person there is a different recipe - that, for me, is a really profound thought to contemplate: everyone is totally unique, each have their own preparation and they cook the ingredients in their own style. By the time you are back training and teaching, you'll be a masterchef in survival and it will be with you for life - i'm even a little envious of the education you are getting via this at the moment. I can't think of a better example of someone excelling by means of apparent adversity. Go Pat! Let's have this sh#! and show us how to win at absolutely anything! What better teacher could there be than someone like that? Excellent.
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