Last day of April

A better day today, full of energy and able to eat solids although my hand is cramping up and i can feel my legs starting. Bob comes in tomorrow so looking forward to some NLP.

Listened to Bandler on the radio yesterday on the Simon Mayo show, where he discussed NLP. You can pick it up on podcast from the BBC.

I wrote about how Kali will shrug off the trauma of her hospital surgery. Forget it, she's milking every second of it, giving us her bandaged paw to make the point and beg a biscuit!

A low ebb

Kali at the Vet

I was unable to take class last night. The pain of swallowing air, fluid or soup coupled with movement really buried me. It's been the lowest I have been for ages.

An old student and pal called, he's a Doctor and his call lifted me. How he found out is what could be described as a series of coincidences, but i don't believe in them. Everything has a purpose. That phone call was well timed.

We took Kali to the vet this morning and she's had a lump removed from her paw. Boxers are prone to lumps and we hope the tests prove it to be nothing to be concerned about. After dropping her off I have slept and now I'm eager along with Caz to go and pick her up. She'll brush it off and be back to her old self quickly. A lesson we should take from them!

JKrishnamurti.org - Daily Quote: What is religion?

What is religion? It is the investigation, with all one's attention, with the summation of all one's energy, to find that which is sacred, to come upon that which is holy. That can only take place when there is freedom from the noise of thought, the ending of thought and time, psychologically, inwardly - but not the ending of knowledge in the world where you have to function with knowledge. That which is holy, that which is sacred, which is truth, can only be when there is complete silence, when the brain itself has put thought in its right place. Out of that immense silence there is that which is sacred.

The Wholeness of Life - 145

Banding

Imagine a crisp that's gone down the wrong way, its stuck there just behind the sternum in the osophegous. That's what i will be feeling for the next three days after four elastic bands were wrapped around the varices called 'banding'. I discussed this in an earlier post.

I chose this route so i didn't have to take anymore the beta blockers Propranolol that had a downer type effect on me. Had i known the discomfort caused i wouldn't have chosen it but once it passes it is the better option.

I am waiting for 8pm so i can have some soup, first food for 12 hours. Nothing harsh for a week so not to drag the bands off.

Q: What can you only do to a sheet of paper six times?
Answer at the bottom of the post!

JKrishnamurti.org - Daily Quote: Beliefs, like ideals, are escapes from the fact

Belief is so unnecessary, as are ideals. Both dissipate energy which is needed to follow the unfolding of the fact, the 'what is.' Beliefs, like ideals, are escapes from the fact and in escape there is no end to sorrow. The ending of sorrow is the understanding of the fact from moment to moment. There is no system or method which will give understanding but only a choiceless awareness of a fact. Meditation according to a system is the avoidance of the fact of what you are; it is far more important to understand yourself, the constant changing of the facts about yourself, than to meditate in order to find god, have visions, sensations, and other forms of entertainment.

Krishnamurti's Notebook - 41

A: Recycle it!

State of Play

Wolfpack Mountain Bike Couriers Co-Operative 1988
Me, Bob, Steve, Punky Dod

It's not been a great weekend. I'm in a daze most of the time. I woke Saturday am and felt nauseous and while i managed to teach I still felt somnolent (word of the day on Dictionary.com!) so rested the rest of the day.

We had planned to go to the cinema on Saturday night to watch State of Play and i perked up enough to go along to it and i did enjoy the film. A definite must see with a great story line not needing special effects to impress you. I was surprised Helen Mirren had a small part but I think Russell Crowe does his best acting as a drinking overweight slob rather than as an action hero. We went to the local Independent as well which was a pleasant experience.

I woke this morning to a beautiful day and i felt pretty good. I took the dog for a walk and just after i showered i felt weak. I managed to coach the Thai Fighters session but went home and collapsed on the bed and woke up 2 hours later. I have since walked the dog and eaten, but am tip toeing around so not to wake Caz from her pre-night shift slumber.

Friday saw me nip to work to ask about meeting to start back at the Subsea7 office. The Dr has recommended 3 days at 3 hours a day and i think that would do as a starting point.

Nearly forgot, got an endoscopy tomorrow at 1pm!

Charles Darwin:

"To kill an error is as good a service as, and sometimes even better than, the establishing of a new truth or fact."

JKrishnamurti.org - Daily Quote The 'how to be free' only enslaves you

Do not make meditation a complicated affair; it is really very simple and because it is simple it is very subtle. Its subtlety will escape the mind if the mind approaches it with all kinds of fanciful and romantic ideas. Meditation, really, is a penetration into the unknown, and so the known, the memory, the experience, the knowledge which it has acquired during the day, or during a thousand days, must end. For it is only a free mind that can penetrate into the very heart of the immeasurable. So meditation is both the penetration and the ending of the yesterday.

The trouble begins when we ask how to end the yesterday. There is really no 'how.' The 'how' implies a method, a system and it is this very method and system that has conditioned the mind. Just see the truth of this. Freedom is necessary - not 'how' to be free. The 'how to be free' only enslaves you.

Beyond Violence - 54

St Georges Day

Pat and Peter with Rey

Still recovering and i'm getting back slowly to where i was a couple of weeks ago. No word from hospital or any of the consultants i see. Although I haven't been at the school much I'm quite happy with my Zeppelin chilling out.

Happy St Georges Day. I grew up in England having moved away from Swansea at 5. I consider myself a real Brit in that i have something from the three nations. While i don't promote false pride, you need to be happy with who you are and I do feel that this Isle is stronger for it.

The Threadneedleman is someone i have been aware of for a while and would like to get a suit off him. This footage shows Suggs from Madness in the Masters studio!

Kaya

Monday night saw me cringing in pain from serious leg cramps, which hit again during sleep and made it difficult to walk much yesterday.

Most of yesterday was a chill out day as I'm completely run down after pushing the boundaries over the previous two weeks. It feels like a body blow but i know I'll get myself back. Right now though i'm rambling, it is hard to focus and I'm forgetting a lot of things.

The Dr told me that the Temper is a result of the stress I'm currently under and has encouraged me to sing along to songs since i have the new speaker system working. I first heard Kaya in 1978 when it was released, a friend had just bought it and came past and we listened. it's timeless! Put it on Spotify now and have a listen! "Sun Is Shining"

Poor Caz has had to endure me singing along to Bob Marley songs and in the following clip takes here frustrations out on the pads!

Oxygen is the key

I have no doubt that the consumption of my supergreens Lightforce mix has helped me with my accelerated state of reversing the tumors growth. The use of wheatgrass and vegetables to get as much O2 into the system as possible, is the key and it doesn't take a degree to work that one out.

The One Minute Cure has been introduced to me from someone using it and encouraging me to look at it. I'll be talking to the person this week. The youtube clip below is a bit of an advert to the marketing of the concept, but the underlying principle is the transmission of O2 into the body's cells.



I am still whacked out by that busy fortnight. I am sitting back enjoying the music coming through the Zeppelin speakers. Sheer quality. As i write this on comes Goldie's Temper Temper which is quite appropriate!



Are you on Twitter yet? ipat23

Hey! Rey!

Taught 90 minutes of Silat this morning to end two weeks of endurance.

Rey Diogo was in to teach BJJ on Thursday to a sold out seminar. It was apparent that everyone enjoyed his teaching. He presented me with my purple belt and several others got promotions or stripes as did Caz.

It had been intended that i would go out to LA last October and train with him in which he had given me the incentive to get my purple then. As I fell ill and couldn't go that was delayed to his recent visit. As i get fitter it will be a responsibility to carry that will keep me sharp.

All week I've been tired and after driving Rey to Edinburgh for his flight, we visited Rob, Steph and Sam (Abbie was out!) before Caz drove home. It was an early night.

Sunday will be a chill out day. My body needs it as i've pushed the boundaries.

Chelsea won their semi final game v Arsenal and now appear at the Cup Final on May 30th! At least they didnt induce the potential heart attack as on Tuesdays 4 -4 thriller!

Joan Didion, an American journalist, novelist and essayist:

"To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves - there lies the great, singular power of self-respect."

UFC 97: Redemption.

- Middleweight champ Anderson Silva vs. Thales Leites: PREDICTION: Silva

- Chuck Liddell vs. Mauricio "Shogun" Rua: PREDICTION: Liddell.

- Krzysztof Soszynski vs. Brian Stann: Soszynski

- Cheick Kongo vs. Antoni Hardonk: Kongo

- Luis Cane vs. Steve Cantwell: Cane

Setanta, despite advertising are not showing it live. Guess who's cancelling his subscription!

snAp!

After the trip with Tuhon McGrath, I'm very tired and irritable. On top of the medication I'm snapping like a rabid dog. Rey Diogo flies in today and i'm looking forward to being in his company.

Today is the 20th anniversary of Hillsborough, which i drove past as it happened. Last night Chelsea won against the scoucers in a thrilling 4-4 draw which saw us go through 7-5 on aggregate. No-one should go to football in fear or to their death, but nor should we be treated as guilty hooligans either. With the footage of the G20 demonstrator being attacked it's apparent the use of the Police has become divisive in the UK and the football fan has felt this for a long time.

I wish the club would stop putting flags on seats, it's an artificial atmosphere. Commentators keep going on about how the scoucers don't need free flags. They are right, if the supporter wants to dress up like a bunch of christmas trees then go and support the bin dippers. We support our way and we don't need to immitate to please the TV companies to show our allegiance.

Arsenal next, at Wembley!

The government has released a list of 11 sites in England and Wales where new nuclear power stations could be built.

Bradwell, Essex

Braystones, Cumbria

Dungeness, Kent

Hartlepool

Heysham, Lancashire

Hinckley Point, Somerset

Kirksanton, Cumbria

Oldbury, South Gloucestershire

Sellafield, Cumbria

Sizewell, Suffolk

Wylfa, north Wales

A new generation of nuclear reactors simply won't deliver the urgent emissions cuts needed to tackle climate change. Even the most optimistic estimates suggest that a new generation of nuclear power stations will only reduce our emissions by four per cent by 2024: far too little, far too late, to stop global warming or address the predicted energy gap. a new generation of reactors will create tens of thousands of tonnes of the most hazardous radioactive waste, which remains dangerous for up to a million years. It will establish new targets for terrorists, including nuclear waste trains carrying deadly cargoes along our public rail network for decades to come. It will keep the threat of a nuclear reactor accident hanging over us and risk the proliferation of weapons-grade plutonium. And it will render the public liable for the enormous cleaning up costs.

But the most imminent threat that a new nuclear age poses is to the real energy solutions to climate change.

Investment in nuclear energy and its infrastructure is a dangerous and expensive distraction from the real solutions – energy efficiency, renewable technology and decentralised energy.

By decentralising our energy system and producing energy locally, the UK can meet its energy needs in a much cheaper, cleaner and safer way, slashing our climate change contributions.

=== JKrishnamurti.org - Daily Quote ===

Light is light; it does not ask for more light.

Always to seek for wider, deeper, transcendental experiences is a form of escape from the actual reality of 'what is,' which is ourselves, our own conditioned mind. A mind that is awake, intelligent, free, why should it need, why should it have, any experience at all? Light is light; it does not ask for more light.

Eater Monday

Tuhon Bill McGrath and Ewen Campbell (UFA European Director)

After the weekend of training where on Sunday i did pretty much the full 8 hours bar a few sit downs, I'm exhausted.

Tuhon Bill McGrath (Tuhon meaning teacher) is a big guy who loves life, enjoys jokes but is a heavy hitter, a deadly exponent of edged weaponry and well versed in stick fighting. Whilst many simply didn't take the opportunity to take part, the participants who did and who make up the UFA (Unified Fighting Arts) including those who travelled from Aberdeen, were given a master class in weaponry. I'm exceedingly proud of the guys of the UFA who led by example, training every minute with the respect that Bill deserved.

It is also an example of why AMAG is one of the leaders in the cross training field. It is this reason why experts such as Bob Spour are involved with us. I also was presented with a certificate which makes me the PTI UK Director.


We saw Bob on Friday and talked about NLP and how to keep focused on areas of the predicament I'm currently in. His dog Snip had a say in the matter!

Easter Monday is the day after Easter Sunday, which celebrates Jesus’ resurrection, according to Christian belief. Many Orthodox Christian churches in the United Kingdom often observe Easter Monday at a later date than the Easter Monday date observed by many western churches. There's no Pagan alternative.

Good Friday

We'll its been a busy few days. I flew down to Birmingham on Wednesday, to be met by James MacDonald who has moved to Coventry from Aberdeen. We walked around the centre of Birmingham killing my feet as i haven't quite broke those new shoes in. Then Tuhon McGrath flew in so i said bye to James and hello to Bill and we drove to Northampton.

Thursday i took him to Cambridge which is a beautiful city and we walked around on my sore feet for quite a few hours taking loads of pictures, some of which Bill will use in his next book. Fortunately my friend Ewen Campbell gave me a pair of shoes that helped a lot! We had a nice meal in the evening as well.

Today i am about to head off to see Bob Spour and have some therapy from him. I'll let you know how it goes. With all this running around i've forced myself to eat more and so i have more energy.

It would be rude of me NOT to mention Chelsea's magnificent performance at Anfield, beating the scoucers 3 goals to one. All we had heard for weeks was how they would win the competition, but humble pie is being served up right now. Second leg still to come so i won't count the easter eggs quite yet but it was great to hear the biased commentators shut up.

The week ahead

I travel Wednesday down to Birmingham to Welcome Tuhon Bill McGrath who is in to conduct a weekend seminar that I have organised. So today and tomorrow will involve a bit of prep and packing. I have to also organise all my medication. I am also collecting my urine for 24 hours to see what the impact is on the kidneys with the current schedule. It's all go. I look forward to seeing friends such as Ewen Campbell and Bob Spour during my trip.


When i get back next week, Rey Diogo is flying into town fresh from winning his division at the Pan American Championships, so it will be all go then as well! Life is for living!

CT Scan results

This morning I went for a CT scan. By 10am i was out and off to meet up with Paul McIntyre for breakfast on Rose St. Since then i finished hanging scaffolding from an I Beam to hold punch bags at the gym, met Dod Law fresh from his knee surgery for a cup of tea before returning to the gym for a light workout.

I have now got the results for the CT Scan. Bear in mind that they expected it to have hopefully stopped growing further and it would be some time before reduction took place. I have been visualising it getting smaller all the time.

here is the communication i received around 4pm:

Compared with December 2008 CT, there is a slight decrease in the tumour in segment 6 of your liver (66x63mm compared with 68x70mm), a significant reduction in the amount of fluid (ascites) in your abdomen, and the gland near the pancreas is 24mm compared with 32mm. You still, of course , have the appearances of the cirrhosis and the portal hypertension (varicose veins
near the liver).

We should continue with the Sorafenib at the same dose (200mg twice a day). Please keep an eye on your blood pressure a couple of times daily and if it is sitting above 150/90 then we
would need to increase slightly your ramipril. We also need to re quantify the protein in your urine with another 24 hour collection on Monday.

Well done!

I recall the words said by one Doctor that "it's good to be positive but you need to be realistic". The treatment so far has stopped the growth and turned it around. I expect a significantly greater reduction with the momentum next time.

I may have cancer but cancer wont have me!

April fool

CT Scan first thing tomorrow morning so better read my instructions they sent me. Results not known till next week when they will call me whilst I'm hosting Tuhon Bill McGrath. Have to be there at 9am so I'll go on the bike to filter past the traffic jams. That will put a smile on my face.

Caz and Kali are in Inverness celebrating her mums birthday and i'll join them Saturday. After two nights sleep disturbed feeling nauseous, i will grab some extra sleep before then!

At least eight people have died after a helicopter with 16 people on board crashed into the North Sea. I have one pal due to come onshore today so i pray they are ok.

1984
an alternative view to the media drivel