Blue Monday

last night was the first time in a while ive taken a pain killer. Im tired. During the night i was dripping with sweat. I went to work for 5 hours but im shattered now. Im white and the side is hurting.

Picked up some Acai in the health food shop as well as more milk thistle. Lots of little protein snacks for throughout the day, spread my food to grazing stylee. I think the superfoods have slowed down the growth over the years but i wonder if creatine does harm? Ive not been a big user but in my 30's i was.

Hopefully i will talk to the surgeon tomorrow and get the go ahead for Friday. I have a report i want to finish at work and then i'll back off save my energy and build up to surgery.

Spoke to good friends today. Someone wished me good luck. No luck involved in it. Its the drive to heal because life has value.

Speaking to Mohssen the other day i recalled that one of the factors in my decisions to go back to engineering work at Subsea 7 was the health insurance. What was my subconscious telling me over a year ago? How often do we ignore things that we later see in hindsight?

I have a choice when i wake up. Do i live for the day or do i give up, wallow in self pity? Guess i'll live for the day! : )

=== JKrishnamurti.org - Daily Quote ===

Out of Perception Comes Energy

The problem is, surely, to free the mind totally so that it is in a state of awareness that has no border, no frontier. And how is the mind to discover that state? How is it to come to that freedom?

I hope you are seriously putting this question to yourselves, because I am not putting it to you. I am not trying to influence you; I am merely pointing out the importance of asking oneself this question. The verbal asking of the question by another has no meaning if you don't put it to yourself with instance, with urgency. The margin of freedom is growing narrower every day, as you must know if you are at all observant. The politicians, the leaders, the priests, the newspapers and books you read, the knowledge you acquire, the beliefs you cling to - all this is making the margin of freedom more and more narrow. If you are aware of this process going on, if you actually perceive the narrowness of the spirit, the increasing slavery of the mind, then you will find that out of perception comes energy; and it is this energy born of perception that is going to shatter the petty mind, the respectable mind, the mind that goes to the temple, the mind that is afraid. So perception is
the way of truth.

The Book of Life - October 12