as if i have the time to waste

Now I am pissed off.
I was called earlier in the week, twice, to ask me to attend a 10.30 appointment with the Dr leading the tumor assault. We got there in plenty of time, and waited till after 12 before being seen. It was as if we were not expected and the consultant obviously had not prepared herself to see me. If people are busy I can be patient but it was only during the consultation did certain things come to light and one of those was that she didn't know i was coming in.

I was told that the first surgeon i saw, Mr Doom and Gloom, had written a letter to say he thought i was a prime example for a transplant. Not only do I recall his words at the time I first met him, but I think I wrote on this blog, that he immediately dismissed this as an option very early in the diagnosis. After the surgery when they had all inspected the liver whilst I had been out on the table bearing my insides to heaven, they sat around as a group and this was again discounted as an option. So why then write a letter saying otherwise?

I am considering asking. I hesitate as it was indicated the letter was met with anger from the consultant.

The chemo is not chemo as such. It is a 'multi-targeted kinase inhibitor' drug and the consultant felt that if BUPA do not fund it (more on this in a second) that it is possible that it will get the go ahead as it has now done in England, although the Scottish NHS have not yet made that decision[link]. The decision in England is based on whether the drug will work on the patient over the cost of it and it is felt that the door is opening in Scotland.

Sorafenib is the drug of choice, with Doxorubicin as the alternative which is intravenously delivered chemotherapy. CT scan shows the tumor has grown to 7cm. Sorafenib is only available through BUPA funding.

So, on the 17th December i had a conversation with BUPA and gave them all the relevant details and contact numbers for the consultants secretary. I myself have phoned many times to leave messages and it can be days before anyone answers if they ever do. BUPA, according to the consultant (who had asked me to come in but had left me waiting so long because she didnt know i was there!) had not been in contact and she gave me email details to give to BUPA. Some of the earlier indications like the length of treatment During this i could hear the BS siren going off.

BUPA answered the phone when i got back home and looked at their notes where they recorded, as these companies do, when they had left a message. So I asked BUPA what they needed , put this in an email and sent it off to the consultant with fax details to send the required information to BUPA so that they could agree to the treatment and we can get started. BUPA will inform me when there is contact. She also was ignorant to a letter sent by the liver nurse. I have now put the two in contact with each other.

Hello Dr xxxx,
After this morning's appointment, i have contacted BUPA and spoken to a Mr x xxxx.

BUPA require a medical report which will include
- the condition
- treatment plan
- facility where treatment will take place
- details of drugs and doses

This could be faxed to 01xx xxxxx and you can contact Mr xxxx directly on 0xxx xxxxxx

My BUPA membership number is xx/xxxxx so they know who i am.

As requested the details of the Senior Hepatology Nurse is xxx xxxxxx - xx-4xxx

I look forward to hearing from you,

Yours sincerely

When i got home i had a visit from Steve, pictured here in the vest when Bob Spour awarded the Red Arm Bands (black belts) to some of my Thai guys. He's been doing his own thing recently so i hadn't seen him for a while but it was great to see him, even f he reminded me of Capt Haddock.

Tomorrow i have the HR manager at my work coming to see me. This cartoon seemed appropriate!

scar tissue

The wound is healing up very nicely, the photos doesn't do it justice. The two red patches are likely to over-granulate which should cause a bump of scar tissue, but the infection has gone so it doesn't look like the last one i showed!

Whilst the UK is frozen, Aberdeen has been mild and its quite a nice day.

Whatever your opinions on the rights and wrongs in Gaza, there is a lot of PR and Spin going on. Journalists and not allowed in. BBC blog; gives a good write up on this. Some people say Truth is the first casualty of war. People are the first casualty of war.

The Theory of Intelligence
I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this.

'Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'

wow!

went down and taught two classes!
yahoo!
first time since mid November and surgery! I'm shattered and all i did was dictate what was to be done, using others to demonstrate.
The first hour was Jun fan gung fu and the 2nd session was Edged Weapons.

I have a 10.30am appointment at the hospital on Thursday, so we'll find out what is happening then!

Self-Test

Breakfast: 3 carrots, 1 pear and a bit of ginger root. Juiced.

Phoned the hospital and waiting for a response. Maybe something will come in the mail. Also called the dentists but will need to speak with him first to make sure he is happy to work on me at the moment.

The nurse came round and changed the dressings. What a difference, the antibiotics have killed the infection that was causing the redness you saw on the pictures. Its almost healed with probably a fortnight to go! I am using the hibiscrub to wash my body daily (i yearn for a bath) to combat the MRSA.

Will need to get the bike in now.

Gerson therapy is the system used by naturopath Max Gerson in the 1920's which achieved incredible results.

Went to the gym which was busy and it was great to see people.

Acidity Self-Test

Introduction

Use this checklist to get a sense of how acidic you may be. Determining your acidity levels isn't an exact science, but this Self-Test can help you get a better idea of how urgently you need to begin alkalizing your body.

Directions: Make a mark next to any of the symptoms listed here, if you have them. Count the total number of symptoms in each category. The idea is this: the more symptoms, the more acidic you may be, and the more urgent it is for you to begin an alkalizing program.

Beginning Symptoms

• Acne
• Agitation
• Muscular pain
• Cold hands and feet
• Dizziness
• Low energy
• Joint pains that travel
• Food allergies
• Chemical sensitivities to odor, gas heat
• Hyperactivity
• Panic attacks
• Pre-menstrual and menstrual cramping
• Pre-menstrual anxiety and depression
• Lack of sex drive
• Bloating
• Heartburn
• Diarrhea
• Constipation
• Hot urine
• Strong smelling urine
• Mild headaches
• Rapid panting breath
• Rapid heartbeat
• Irregular heartbeat
• White coated tongue
• Hard to get up in morning
• Excess head mucous (stuffiness)
• Metallic taste in mouth

Intermediate Symptoms

1. Cold sores (Herpes I & II)
2. Depression
3. Loss of memory
4. Loss of concentration
5. Migraine headaches
6. Insomnia
7. Disturbance in smell, taste, vision, hearing
8. Asthma
9. Bronchitis
10. Hay fever
11. Ear aches
12. Hives
13. Swelling
14. Viral infections (colds, flu)
15. Bacterial infections (staph, strep)
16. Fungal infections (Candia albicans, athlete's foot, vaginal)
17. Impotence
18. Urethritis
19. Cystitis
20. Urinary infection
21. Gastritis
22. Colitis
23. Excessive falling hair
24. Psoriasis
25. Endometriosis
26. Stuttering
27. Numbness and tingling
28. Sinusitis

Advanced Symptoms

1. Crohn's disease
2. Schizophrenia
3. Learning disabled
4. Hodgkin's Disease
5. Systemic Lupus Erythematosis
6. Multiple Sclerosis
7. Sarcoidosis
8. Rheumatoid arthritis
9. Myasthenia gravis
10. Scleroderma
11. Leukemia
12. Tuberculosis
13. All other forms of cancer

Source: Alkalize or Die, Dr. Theodore A. Baroody, 2001.

know where you are

You can't really figure out how to get where you want to be until you know where you are. Doesn't that make sense?

• The tumor is a result of an imbalance in the liver - how did that happen?
• Chemo will now deal with the tumor since surgery failed - what does it leave?
• The liver will need to deal with the virus in it and regenerate - how to do that?
• The way i live my life will have to adapt to my requirements- can this be achieved?

In this blog have dealt with all these questions but I feel that it is important to keep on top of them, keeping the focus but adapting them dynamically so that they remain relevant.

How did it happen?
I didn't know i had HCV and reading into it i now see that there could be many people like me with a ticking time bomb. A blood test can clear it up. It can be healed. Wasting time speculating how i got it would not serve any person and distracts my focus, looking for blame rather than channeling the focus to healing.

What does it leave?
The chemo will stop and reduce the tumor. Whilst the Doctor says there is a risk it may not totally go away i visualise it gone, as a friend that warned me that my liver was in danger. Then i am left with a liver in bad condition.

How to heal the liver?
We have looked at the liver and iscussed what an amazing organ it is. It can regenerate and if i use all the means available i will be able to return to a high standard of health. That will involve pharmaceutical drugs, alternative medicines, diet and focus.

Can this be achieved?
I WILL PERSIST IN WHATEVER I CHOOSE TO DO

Tomorrow i contact the hospital to find out the date for starting the chemo course. I also contact the HR dept to see about possible reintroduction in the workplace before the end of January. I am looking at flights for LA to train at the March Instructors camp. I am able to look forward because i know where i am.

SOD "Liberator" LIVE KFNYC 08

timeless

spent the afternoon around at Dave Johnstone's, an old student and pal. Also present with their families were Derek the menace Latto and John Maitland. A great time with Kali enjoying the company of the children, however im tired now.

The trade in cat and dog fur across Europe has been outlawed following a nine-year campaign by a Scottish MEP. Hurrah!

i looked for diet information and this site came up: http://acidalkalinediet.com/

=== JKrishnamurti.org - Daily Quote ===

Truth is not of the past or of the present—it is timeless

There is no path to truth and there are not two truths. Truth is not of the past or of the present—it is timeless—and the man who quotes the truth of the Buddha, of Shankara, of the Christ, or who merely repeats what I am saying, will not find truth because repetition is not truth: repetition is a lie.

Truth is a state of being which arises when the mind—which seeks to divide, to be exclusive, which can only think in terms of results, of achievement—has come to an end. Only then will there be truth. The mind that is making effort, disciplining itself in order to achieve an end, cannot know truth because the end is its own projection and the pursuit of the projection, however noble, is a form of self-worship.…

He alone shall know truth who is not seeking, who is not striving, who is not trying to achieve a result.

TCM and alkalinity

Two people have talked to me about alkalinity and the way we eat affecting our health, energy levels and outlook. This is one perspective from Danny, is a naturopathic viewpoint and are guidelines only.

Traditional Chinese Medicine(TCM) does not look at disease the same way, Cancer doesn't exist. It's simply a name given to a set of symptoms and ignores the organic factors which underly it, an imbalance between yin and yang. In TCM we look at disease from patterns of hot and cold, deficiency and excess, wind and damp and use herbs accordingly. They are tailor made to the individual taking into account their uniqueness.

If you take an imaginary microscope down to cellular level where a group of cells make up a tissue and a group of tissues make up an organ, everything in the end comes down to the cell, what goes on inside and what goes on outside.

Since each of us has constitutional strengths and weaknesses, one organ system of the body the cells may be weaker than elsewhere and this is where we can have a problem. The other factor influencing cells is how we live and what we do and don't put into our bodies. How we think is also a major factor.

At a reductionist biochemical level, our cells operate at optimum when they are in an alkaline environment. Our blood, which caries nourishment to the cells, maintains a rigid pH balance of around 7.4 (very alkaline). Now when the diet is poor, when there is exposure to drugs or chemicals over the long term and when the thought pattern is negative this increases the acidity of the blood. If the pH of the blood dips below 7.4 this would result in death. The blood has no choice but to dump the acidity into the tissues and thus into an organ system.

What is acidity? When food is broken down into components at a mineral level we have alkaline minerals such as magnesium and calcium and acid minerals such as phosphorus and sulphur. The alkaline and acid minerals are like a set of scales that need balanced. Bear in mind also that human beings are acid by function as well. A good example of this is the build up of lactic acid during exercise.

If the body becomes over-acidified, it dumps the acid minerals into the organ system. The cell membrane is semi-permeable which means it allows nutrients into the cell for energy and allows waste products out of the cell to be excreted by the system. Inside the cell we have intercellular fluid and ouside the cell we have extracellular fluid. If the acidity is building up it will affect the pH of the extracellular fluid. The cell wall will then thicken as a reaction to this. Over time what happens is nutrients do not enter the cell and waste does not exit. The cell then becomes toxic and potentially malignant.

From research it has been shown that cancer cells cannot metastatise if the environment at an extracellular level is alkaline, therefore alkalinity is the key. We know from nutrition that certain foodstuffs are either alkaline or acid when broken down. We do need some acid minerals in our body, we just need to maintain the correct levels.

Fruit and vegetables are almost exclusively alkaline in nature therefore 80% of diet should come from these sources - fresh, local and preferably organic and prepared with a minimum of processing. Cooking depletes alkaline minerals such as magnesium. Light steaming of vegetables is best. Juicing vegetables is an excellent method for increasing alkalinity. All meat and dairy products are acid-forming, but goat derivatives are better than cow.

Fish and white meats are better than the others and it's best to prepare them in very small pieces and in conjunction with vegetables. Flesh foods have other problems such as uric acid, cholesterol, heavy metals, saturated fats etc but at this juncture suffice to say limit their intake.

Protein is widely available in much more assimilable forms throughout the vegetable kingdom - beans, lentils, leafy greens, nuts and especially seeds like pumpkin which contains all 8 essential amino acids.

Other acidic forming foods include alcohol, caffeine, recreational and over the counter drugs. 80/20 alkaline/acid foods is about right. In my case it would be an idea to tip further into the alkalinity and flood your tissues.

Use sprouted seeds and nuts. As an example a handful of sprouted brocolli seeds has the nutritional equivalent of 6 heads of Calabrese Broccoli! Finally water - 2.5 litres filtered (reverse osmosis or distilled water is best) is essential for ALL bodily functions at optimum levels.

Supplementation: Short term use of supplements derived from natural products is useful but it needs to be individualised. In your case hepato-function would be primary (actually it is in all cases but especially so for you). Milk thistle is a good herb but will work far better in conjunction with other herbs (Taraxacum officinalis radix - Dandelion root (not leaf) and Cyanara (Artichoke leaf). The three herbs are hepato-protective and will also encourage regeneration at cellular levels. It is vital that proper supplies of protein are used as the amino acids are important in cellular construction. Arginine, carnatine, glutamine etc are all important so use quality protein sources such as soya bean and pumpkin seed even if you are eating meat too. For general health a multi mineral/vitamin complex would be useful especially if you plan to undergo chemotherapy.

Chemo carries its own risks - along with killing off cancer cells it can also wipe out the immune system. hence the use of the multi and high dose vitamin C - 3 grams plus. I'd also suggest probiotics to re-establish the bacterial balance in the bowel. There is only one herb to deal with the nausea of chemo and that unfortunately is illegal - herbal cannabis (not hash nor skunk) is of great benefit.

Alan Baker from Atlanta contacted me to see if i was interested in some info on Alkalizing Diets. He has been doing this for a while and it has really been beneficial to me. This is a good site for info on it..http://www.phmiracleliving.com/
He use a lot of the recipes from their cook books and uses one of the alkaline water filters. He does A LOT of juicing which is one of the best thinks I have ever done to better my health. Usually I juice every morning and try to only have juice up to lunch, this keeps my internal energy levels high and free to cleanse of heal the body (the body's natural cleansing cycle is from 4 am to 12 the next day). A good book on this is....http://www.amazon.com/Fit-Life-Harvey-Diamond/dp/0446300152,. He also does a cleanse/Fast 4 times a year to get toxins out of the body.

Two different sources pointing the same direction.