I feel run down, struggling when I am tired with a heavy chest and coughing fits. I have been cramping up throughout the day and night and the weather hasn't helped.
We still have not heard anything from Edinburgh. Waking up every day involves the act of taking the two Sorafenib and I was nauseous this morning when I took them. I understand when people just say they are tired of the fight. So why have we not heard anything? I guess the positive is that they haven't rejected me.
The car died as a direct result of the heavy floods, where after water got in and damaged the electrics. 3 years without issue and the car dies just when I'm about to renew. So I have had an extra stress in getting about that has only added to my discomfort.
Officially this is the worst week of the year and the most depressing. Monday was known as Blue Monday and boy have I been feeling it. I'm bloated and yet I don't eat a huge amount. This is depressing and with the energy sapped you feel like your are at the bottom of the pit.
By tomorrow I will have changed this and turned it into positives, reframing the depression into more positive thinking. Ill work some yoga and silat, maybe some stick and we'll see friends on Robbie Burns day! I guess though what I'm trying to say is that don't assume that those positive people with a fight on their hands don't have bad days or weeks.
"I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die." Isaac Asimov.
We do not listen. There are too many noises about us; inside us, there is too much talk, too much questioning, too much demanding, too many urges, compulsions. We have so many things and we never listen to any one of them completely, totally, to the very end. And if you would kindly so listen, you will see that, in spite of yourself, the mutation, that emptiness, that transformation, the perception of what is true, comes into being. You don't have to do a thing, because what you do will interfere, because you are greedy, you are envious, you are full of hate, ambition, and all the mischief that thought can make. So if you can listen happily, effortlessly, then perhaps in the quiet, deep, silence you will know what is truth. And it is only that truth that liberates, and nothing else. That is why you must stand completely alone. You cannot listen through another; you cannot see with the eyes of another; you cannot think with the thoughts of others. But yet you listen through others, see through the activities, through the saints, through the dictum of others. So if you can put away all these secondary things, the activities of others, and be simple, quiet, and listen, then you will find out. - J. Krishnamurti, Bombay, 1st March 1964