Off To Edinburgh

Within 12 hours I have discussed with the Transplant Surgeon what he wants to do and in that action I have introduced myself to his world.

The result of this is that he started to hum and har over when they could fit me in and I interjected that I would be down in Edinburgh the following weekend. Immediately he said that they will fit me in on the Thursday or Friday and this morning it was confirmed that on Friday 5th Feb I will have an Endoscopy.

The endoscopy will be used to get a biopsy of the second growth to acertain whether it is HCC or benign. Of course it's going to be benign and once those results are in I will be put forward for transplant.

Today Im alert and energised, almost the first time this month. This is it guys, its all down hill from now on - just you wait and see. By the 3rd quarter this year I'm going to be a different monster, cured and working myself back to fitness and better health.

Caz's birthday on Saturday, we can enjoy this moment a bit more now!

AT LAST

News at last. I'm now to communicate with the leading specialist in Edinburgh.

It confuses me when i get told one thing then I hear almost a contradiction. I was told that I only had one lesion but it would appear that there is a second 'something' but they are not able to identify it.

So if it is benign or no even not a tumour then I will be put forward to the Transplant Team for consideration.

If it is HCC then there will be no transplant and we will take another course of action.

What I am assured by friends knowledgeable in this area is that I'm now under one of the leading authorities in this area.

What will be happening is that I will undergo a biopsy to ascertain the condition of the 'other growth'. When this will be I don't know, but I'm ready to get my ass down to Edinburgh as soon as required.

This is a tipping point, one that will take me out of my doldrums and propel me into what will be a great February!

Lou Reed has written hundreds of songs, he worked extensively with Andy Warhol, and is widely recognized as a great artist. You've probably heard some of this songs without even knowing it.

Here are some things he said that might give some clues into how he was able to be so crazy-productive:

"There's only X amount of time. You can do whatever you want with that time. It's your time."

"Me, I've concentrated on music pretty much to the exclusion of other things."

"I'm in this business for too long to be half-hearted about anything."

"I try very much, whenever I do projects, whatever it is, there's only one thing on my mind, only one thing."

Address to a Haggis.

	Address to a Haggis.
	Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o the puddin'-race! Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm: Weel are ye wordy of a grace As lang's my arm. The groaning trencher there ye fill, Your hurdies like a distant hill, Your pin wad help to mend a mill In time o need, While thro your pores the dews distil Like amber bead. His knife see rustic Labour dight, An cut you up wi ready slight, Trenching your gushing entrails bright, Like onie ditch; And then, O what a glorious sight, Warm-reekin, rich! Then, horn for horn, they stretch an strive: Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive, Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve Are bent like drums; The auld Guidman, maist like to rive, 'Bethankit' hums. Is there that owre his French ragout, Or olio that wad staw a sow, Or fricassee wad mak her spew Wi perfect sconner, Looks down wi sneering, scornfu view On sic a dinner? Poor devil! see him owre his trash, As feckless as a wither'd rash, His spindle shank a guid whip-lash, His nieve a nit: Thro bloody flood or field to dash, O how unfit! But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed, The trembling earth resounds his tread, Clap in his walie nieve a blade, He'll make it whissle; An legs an arms, an heads will sned, Like taps o thrissle. Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care, And dish them out their bill o fare, Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware That jaups in luggies: But, if ye wish her gratefu prayer, Gie her a Haggis!	cheerful above paunch, guts worthy - buttocks skewer - wipe skill Digging - well swollen bellies, soon burst - sicken disgust - weak, rush fist, nut - choice trim tops, thistle - watery splashes, porringers

Blue Monday

As you know I am not one to moan here. I don't indulge in self pity as it simply doesn't bring any rewards worth having. I have to say though that its been an awful two weeks for me.

I feel run down, struggling when I am tired with a heavy chest and coughing fits. I have been cramping up throughout the day and night and the weather hasn't helped.

We still have not heard anything from Edinburgh. Waking up every day involves the act of taking the two Sorafenib and I was nauseous this morning when I took them. I understand when people just say they are tired of the fight. So why have we not heard anything? I guess the positive is that they haven't rejected me.

The car died as a direct result of the heavy floods, where after water got in and damaged the electrics. 3 years without issue and the car dies just when I'm about to renew. So I have had an extra stress in getting about that has only added to my discomfort.

Officially this is the worst week of the year and the most depressing. Monday was known as Blue Monday and boy have I been feeling it. I'm bloated and yet I don't eat a huge amount. This is depressing and with the energy sapped you feel like your are at the bottom of the pit.

By tomorrow I will have changed this and turned it into positives, reframing the depression into more positive thinking. Ill work some yoga and silat, maybe some stick and we'll see friends on Robbie Burns day! I guess though what I'm trying to say is that don't assume that those positive people with a fight on their hands don't have bad days or weeks.

"I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die." Isaac Asimov.

We do not listen - JKOnline Daily Quotes

---

We do not listen Posted: We do not listen. There are too many noises about us; inside us, there is too much talk, too much questioning, too much demanding, too many urges, compulsions. We have so many things and we never listen to any one of them completely, totally, to the very end. And if you would kindly so listen, you will see that, in spite of yourself, the mutation, that emptiness, that transformation, the perception of what is true, comes into being. You don't have to do a thing, because what you do will interfere, because you are greedy, you are envious, you are full of hate, ambition, and all the mischief that thought can make. So if you can listen happily, effortlessly, then perhaps in the quiet, deep, silence you will know what is truth. And it is only that truth that liberates, and nothing else. That is why you must stand completely alone. You cannot listen through another; you cannot see with the eyes of another; you cannot think with the thoughts of others. But yet you listen through others, see through the activities, through the saints, through the dictum of others. So if you can put away all these secondary things, the activities of others, and be simple, quiet, and listen, then you will find out. - J. Krishnamurti, Bombay, 1st March 1964

whoops

forgot to mention that Caz competed in the Scottish Open in BJJ on Saturday. lost by an armbar but won the silver medal!

Well done girl!

ramblings

Funny old week. It's been one where no longer had i said i'd not had cramps I've been plagued with them. My stomach has been bloated and I have been tired. I have boosted my hours at work but the problem seems to be more in the digestion process. I will have to be strict on the diet side of things.

It's been a bit of a thaw here and with the rain all roads became rivers. I hit a pool and the car didnt half move...laterally.

really hoping to hear something soon. i feel like im in limbo. i cant organise things until; i know what course is being steered.

Adults in Scotland are drinking the equivalent of 46 bottles of vodka each in a year, a study has suggested. Now I don't drink and I know that Caz doesn't drink Vodka so someone out there is drinking our share! 3 bottles of voddie a week! No wonder there's no livers for transplant!

"Liverpool fans sing a song about Chelsea having no history. Of course it is false - it's just that Chelsea's history is not as illustrious as Liverpool's.
It would be equally stupid for Chelsea fans to sing that Liverpool has no future. Of course Liverpool has a future. It's just that it is not as illustrious as Chelsea's." Comment on The Independent website.

Q: Who's the nicest man in a hospital?
A: The ultra-sound man

Q: Who covers his shifts while he's away?
A: The hip-replacement guy.

Haiti

The Red Cross and Save the Children have put out an Appeal for the disaster in Haiti! Click on the above picture to go to the appropriate page.

What your donation could buy:

• £20 — 3 tarpaulins or plastic sheets to provide basic shelter to protect families
• £40 — 24 buckets to help families carry clean water
• £50 — 21 mosquito kits to protect children from malaria
• £500 — 20 student kits, containing notebooks, plastic water bottles, rucksacks and stationery
• £1000 — 80 hygiene kits with essentials such as soap, detergent, toothpaste and toothbrushes
• £5000 — shelter repair kits for 142 families whose homes have been damaged by the earthquake

With the images being seen on the media, I cannot find it appropriate to discuss my issues concerning my predicament on this post